Step By Step

I am moving Saturday. Heading out for my new life. I won’t be moving where I want to be, but will be moving toward where I want to be end up. It is that beloved first step of a much larger journey.

I would love to use the analogy of the yen/yang, but it isn’t appropriate. There hasn’t been the beautiful ebb and flow of one next to the other. It has been one side or the other like a coin.

Due to the outside forces of life and living, I have gone from Plan A all the way to Plan Q, back to a previous Plan in between, and today it is the original Plan A. It has always been Plan A. The other plans were wishful thinking, ideas that didn’t pan out or just wouldn’t work. Period.

I noticed that sometimes Plans need to be kept to yourself. When other doubtful helpful people get involved, things can go wrong very quickly. I may be selfish, I may be rude, but I am telling everyone this much: it is all about me now.

No, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. I am not going to step on anyone to get where I am going. I am simply walking away and letting everyone go on with their lives. Although at times I appear to be the source of your anguish and problems, I am also your source of security. It is time for you to realize you are secure in yourselves.

I have achieved one major dream in my life. A beautiful dream that I wouldn’t change for anything and have been blessed to live for 25 years. I have been a wife and a mother. I am still a mother. I will still be a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a cousin…just not here. It is time for me to achieve and live other dreams as well.

You would be surprised to walk into my home and hear me say that I am moving tomorrow. I only have 6 boxes and two suitcases. Tomorrow I will pack my computer into its case and be on my way. Nothing here is important to me. My priorities have changed. Everything will fit in the back seat of my truck. My friends have probably already guessed what is in those boxes. A few pictures of my family, things I need for my computer, and my books. Suitcases house my clothes.

My children have been my true priority all this time. The rest of the stuff here they will need, or is just stuff. They are grown now and will begin living their dreams and lives to their fullest. They are the only thing important to me that I am leaving behind and will miss.

I hope in a few months that I post again about my next move. New Hampshire is the ultimate goal and step by step I am getting there.