I Hate April

Okay, so I don’t totally hate April. Just really dislike it a lot.

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Today is the 30th anniversary of my first marriage.  I remember it as if it were yesterday.

We ran off to get married. It was a nightmare. Trying to get blood tests and find a justice of the peace wasn’t easy. My best friend met us at the JP’s place of regular employment (a warehouse) and we got hitched.

He was wearing his usual western shirt, wrangler jeans and cowboy boots. I had on my regular tee shirt, Levi jeans and Nike tennis shoes.

I don’t remember our divorce date. It was sometime in July seven years later.

It wasn’t a totally failed marriage. We have two beautiful children.

When he passed away a few years ago, I cried more than I dreamed I could cry. Once you truly love someone, even if you can’t stay married, you always love that person.

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Ten days ago would have been the 12th anniversary of my last marriage. I remember it as if it were yesterday.

All four of the children were there. We had to find a JP immediately because it was rare that all four of my children would be together with me for a weekend. My oldest son was the witness. Such a special day.

I know our divorce date, only because we haven’t been divorced long and I still have a copy of the final decree on my computer.

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There is a marriage in between those two. I still care about him, but honestly have no contact with him. We were married in January so he doesn’t fit my ‘I hate April’ scheme.

The only good thing about that marriage that I remember is that we have two beautiful children.

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My birthday is coming up. I don’t like my birthday.

It is in a crazy, memory filled month and it also is a constant reminder of just how old I am. How many hopes, dreams and goals that I still haven’t realized in my life.

As the saying goes “I’m burning daylight”, and still don’t have a plan to achieve any of them.

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On the good side of April, it marks Spring taking its grasp on the world. A time of renewal and growth.

It marks the anniversary of my son and his beautiful wife’s marriage.

It also holds the birthday of my precious grandson.