Am wondering can I last these next four days. I am already an emotional wreck and he isn't even in town. I know what has gotten me this way and its my own fault again. I was thinking about trying to go ahead and attend the family dinner tomorrow night. I think these wounds are still a little too raw to risk it.
The divorce will be final Monday. I know that once I have a copy of those papers in my hand that I can start to heal. Now I'm afraid that he's going to have his attorney withdraw the divorce papers. Then I'll have to go find an attorney and start this process all over again.
Shit, all of this because I wanted my husband to come home and stay home. I missed him and needed him. I wanted him home with me. I don't understand how it all got so twisted up and now he is coming home to stay for awhile in October, but not as my husband. On the lighter side of it, its not by choice but because there aren't any more bases. They also don't have any other out-of-town jobs lined up. In my heart I know that the first one that comes up, he'll take it. He's all about the money.
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