Beliefs

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
~Buddha

I believed what I heard. Not all of it, but most of it.

• “You never finish anything you start”.
• “You are a horrible mother, guess you used it all up on _____.”
• “If you can’t do it right, then don’t do it at all.”

Strange that today when I look back on a few of those stumbling block comments that I heard many times growing up, and as a grown up, I want to laugh. Today I can laugh, tomorrow I might believe them again. It depends on how weak or strong my faith is at the time.

“You never finish anything you start”.

I may not be finished yet. Although I started something many years ago, doesn’t mean I’m through yet. I may have had to stop for any number of reasons. Children needed something, I didn’t have the resources at the time, someone else finished it, or maybe just maybe it wasn’t worth finishing. Oh, and that cake that I didn’t finish back in whatever year I started it wasn’t worth finishing after a kid ended up in the ER…get the picture.

AND…never is an over-used stupid word. That is right up there with no one/nobody cares about me. Everybody is doing it. Such an all-inclusive word that is so misused but yet so powerful.

“You are a horrible mother, guess you used it all up on _____.”

I am/was not a horrible mother. I have four children, and a younger brother that I thought was my baby. So, fill in the blanks with one of the earlier children’s or brother’s name…

Just like every other mother, or father, out there, its all trial and error. You do the best you can with your talents, knowledge and what is happening in your world around you at the moment. No two situations are exactly alike. No two children are exactly alike. They may be similar (refreshing to know that somewhere in this world there is at least one other person going through something almost exactly like what you are going through), to another person’s problem or issue at the moment.  I am, just a big person with kids. No super powers, super knowledge or super anything comes with being a parent. Just more responsibility and you have to love each other through it all.

“If you can’t do it right, then don’t do it at all.”

I can’t seem to do everything right. Well, it depends on who’s version of ‘right’ that I’m following. For years I never bothered to try anything new because, well, I didn’t think I could do it right. Then I realized that perfection is unattainable. If we reach perfection in some aspect today, we will discover that it can be improved upon tomorrow. And…who defines what is perfect?

Today I will try to keep my faith in following what I know to be good for myself and others. It may not be what they think they need, but if I follow my heart (gut instinct) then it will be for their good and mine. (eg: not enabling an alcoholic or drug addict; not giving in to the will of others where my best interest is concerned).